Resolving Conflicts within Marriage Without Taking Them for Granted.

Marriage is a concept that has to be worked on daily. It takes patience, time, and a whole lot of prayer to resolve some of the conflicts that come up within a marriage. Remember no one is perfect and everyone has something about them that no one feels they like about the other. However if you have chosen to marry your spouse there must have been an ability to overlook those dislikes, aka you fell in love with those other qualities. So give it a better try and let's look at at least 7 ways to resolve a conflict in this marriage. Before they feel like we are taking them for granted.

1. Listen. Pursue your spouse. Genuinely listen to his/her point of view. Be interested in his/her ideas, feelings, and dreams. This means taking time away from the kids so you are not distracted. Dates are an excellent way to reconnect as a couple and talk through things.

2. Consider. Consider the facts, evaluate, and pray through the situation at hand. Sometimes emotions take over and escalate a situation. Stand back and see it logically. Would it be a good thing for you, your marriage, and your family? Would it hurt? Does it go against God’s word? Consider these things when you’re trying to resolve conflict in marriage.

3. Reject. Reject pride and selfish behavior. Be willing to admit when you are wrong. Put the other person first. You don’t always have to get your way. Many times we mistake questions for dissent and feel threatened. Choose to respond in love.

4. Focus. Focus on the problem, not the person. Be willing to address the situation even if you know it is going to be uncomfortable. Avoiding it will not make it go away. If your spouse overreacts, keep calm. Gently direct it back to the problem. Don’t escalate it further. This is one of the best ways to resolve conflict in marriage.

5. Change. You can not change your spouse. You can only change yourself. Work on you. If you have an addiction, anger issues, or any other unhealthy behaviors, address them now. Ask God to show you any blind spots in your life. Changing yourself will force your spouse to have to change the way he interacts with you.

6. Wait. Wait until you both have peace about a decision. Pushing too hard to get your way may result in a disaster if your spouse is genuinely concerned about something. God uses the gifts of both the husband and the wife to get a sound decision. If you think you don’t need your spouse’s input, you are sadly mistaken. This is an important thing to remember when you resolve conflict in marriage.

7. Compromise. Be willing to compromise so you both win. This means changing your thinking from “I” to “we.” You both win or lose together. It is not a competition against each other; it is a team sport. Many people go into marriage thinking they are going to get all their needs met when in reality many times it is about dying to self.

Biblical Scriptures About Resolving Conflict in Marriage?

1. 1 Peter 3: 8-9> Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous not rendering evil for evil or railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that you are there unto called that you should inherit a blessing.

2. Matthew 19:6> So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

3. Colossians 3:19> Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

4. Proverbs 14:29> Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.

5. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8a> Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[b] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ends.

6. Romans 12: 19> Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.

7. Philippians 2:3-4> Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

8. Hebrews 12:5> See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

9. Matthew 18:15-16> If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.-